Day 9: The Courage to Look Back

Saturday, May 9

31 Days of Memory, Faith, and Becoming

Quotation:
“It takes courage to return to the pages of who we used to be.”

Looking back is not always easy.

Some memories are beautiful and comforting. They bring laughter, gratitude, and warmth. But some memories are complicated. They remind us of seasons of uncertainty, struggle, discipline, disappointment, growth, and questions we could not answer at the time.

Yet, there is grace in having the courage to look back.

Today, I look back with gratitude to the institutions that have shaped my journey of becoming: St. John RCM School, Inalende; Community Grammar School, Mokola, Ibadan; College of Education, Oro, Kwara State; University of Ibadan; University of Nairobi, Kenya; University of Groningen, the Netherlands; University of Amsterdam, the Netherlands; Amsterdam University of Applied Sciences, the Netherlands; Columbia Theological Seminary, USA; and, of course, CARTA in Nairobi.

These institutions are more than names on a timeline. They are places of formation. They represent classrooms, mentors, books, friendships, challenges, examinations, research, discipline, discovery, and transformation. Each place contributed something to the person I was becoming. Some gave me knowledge. Some gave me courage. Some gave me intellectual discipline. Some opened new worlds of research, faith, service, and global connection.

To look back is not to remain trapped in the past. It is to return with a wiser heart. It is to revisit old places, old writings, old dreams, old prayers, and old versions of ourselves with compassion. It is to say: I was growing. I was learning. I was becoming.

There are pages of our lives we may once have avoided because they felt too unfinished or too difficult. But when faith leads us back to those pages, we may begin to see them differently. What once looked like struggle may now reveal resilience. What once felt like confusion may now show the beginning of wisdom. What once seemed ordinary may now carry the evidence of grace.

This is part of the journey behind my upcoming book, The Life Between the Lines: Memory and the Journey of Becoming. Returning to poems and writings from an earlier season of life has reminded me that the younger self should not be dismissed. The younger self should be listened to, understood, and received with grace.

Sometimes, we are too hard on who we used to be. We judge our early attempts, our old words, our youthful emotions, and our unfinished understanding. But becoming is a process. The person we were then was part of the person we are now. The old pages matter because they carry evidence of growth.

The Psalms also teach us the courage of honest remembering. The psalmists do not hide their fear, sorrow, anger, hope, gratitude, or longing. They bring everything before God. Their honesty becomes prayer. Their memory becomes worship. Their struggle becomes testimony.

Today, I invite you to look back with courage, not shame. Revisit the pages of your life with tenderness. What institutions shaped you? What teachers challenged you? What schools formed your mind? What communities gave you courage? What has God redeemed? What part of your past now helps you understand your becoming?

Faith does not ask us to erase our past. Faith teaches us to read it with grace.

This is Day 9 of 31 Days of Memory, Faith, and Becoming, a month-long reflection series introducing themes from my upcoming book, The Life Between the Lines: Memory and the Journey of Becoming.

Reflection Question:
What school, institution, teacher, or learning experience helped shape the person you are becoming?

Prayer:
Lord, give me the courage to look back without fear or shame. Thank you for the institutions, teachers, mentors, and communities that have shaped my life. Help me to see my past through the light of your grace, and teach me to recognize how every season has contributed to my journey of becoming. Amen.

Call to Action:
Follow the series and share today’s reflection with someone who is learning to revisit their story with courage and grace.

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